Thanksgiving is the one day a year when Americans collectively attempt emotional multitasking: cooking a giant bird, dodging family debates, and pretending to be profoundly thankful for things we normally complain about the other 364 days. But must we truly be thankful? Or can we just smile politely, pass the mashed potatoes, and call it a day?
Let’s start with the basics: thankfulness is a lovely concept. It makes us feel grounded, humble, and aware of life’s small joys—like elastic waistbands and the microwave. But the pressure to be thankful on command can feel a bit like being told to enjoy your vegetables. “Be grateful!” they say, while your smiling at the in-laws or quietly Googling whether turkeys can be microwaved.
Many find themselves performing what I call “competitive gratitude.” Someone at the table says they’re thankful for their loving family and meaningful career, and suddenly you’re scrambling to top it with something deep and poetic. “I’m thankful for… sunlight? Stability? My new lawnmower?” You panic, say something vague like “community,” and hope no one asks follow-up questions.
But here’s the good news: Thanksgiving isn’t a gratitude exam. There’s no Thankfulness Police hiding behind the cranberry sauce, ready to issue citations for insufficient emotional sincerity. Being thankful is less about reciting a perfect Hallmark sentiment and more about simply noticing what’s good—whatever that looks like for you.
If all you can muster this year is appreciation for soft rolls, naps, or the fact that no one made that weird marshmallow salad, congratulations—you’re doing Thanksgiving right. Gratitude doesn’t need to be grand. Sometimes it’s small, silly, or practical.
So, do we *have* to be thankful on Thanksgiving? Not in a dramatic, life-changing way. Just enough to recognize that amidst the chaos, the calories, and the questionable side dishes, there’s something worth smiling about. And if that something is simply surviving the day without burning the turkey or having to smile / well, that counts too.