I have been reading that Yoga is an endeavor that allows one to get in touch with their inner self, discover the meaning of life, contemplate the greater good, become more aware of their body, become: cheerful, thrifty, brave, kind, clean, reverent, and much more. After more research I discovered if yoga is good Bikram yoga is “great”. First yoga consists of putting your body into crazy impossible positions (pretzel comes to mind) while the mind is suppose to move to a higher plain. Are you with me ? Now Bikram yoga is doing this in a room that is roughly 180 degrees or more with 60 youthful beautiful ladies in tight form fitting outfits and they do not sweat. Imagine ! At 10 AM going to the designated “Hot” Yoga place being 70 and entering this room with these Hotties with just a pair shorts on definitely shows both bravery and mental fatique. After 15 minutes there was a pool of sweat around my area (worried I might drown). The plane my mind was on is spelled Kamikaze.

The class was billed as introductory and was to last 2 hours.  First introductory is definitely false advertising and 2 hours is approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes to long.  Sort of like who decided 3 games of bowling is the norm.  Just saying after two I pretty much know how it is going.

Must confess I threw the towel in (both figuratively and literally after 1 hour) and tried to sneak out unnoticed.  But, likely by design, I had been placed at the farthest place in the room from the door.  The trip through what seemed like hundreds of beautiful ladies with trim bodies with virtually not a drop of sweat reminded me of doing football tackle drills in high school.  After showering I tried to slither out the door but was caught and stopped by a young door guard (also a young beautiful lady and maybe a femanazi ) who explained the first session is the worst and they had special on at a reduced price for a monthly pass.  I politely declined and went home to find an email that offered an even more intimidating opportunity.

Needless to say much like halloween I am turning my lights off at night to prevent the feared Yoga Intervention Team from visiting.  I’m thinking maybe pickle-ball next !!

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